Tuesday, July 1, 2008

I Know I Have No Right...

...to ask for favors. But if there is anybody left who stumbles across this lil wee blog, I urge you to check out my best bud's blog A Day in the Life. It's on the blogroll. Click and be happy. Thanks!

Friday, February 1, 2008

Hello There Stranger

So, it has been brought to my attention that I am a suck ass blogger. This is the first post in 2008 and sadly I don't really have anything new to discuss. I'm still loveless, funless, and most importantly internetless, which is why I'm rushing to get this out during my lunch break. So if this post is full of typos and misspellings (which you should be used to by now) then sorry!

Anyhoo, not having the internet at my home (Eff you Comcast...more on that another time) has helped me remember a time when I did reading outside of blogs. I finally finished my Teacakes Book Club selection and I actually started reading some of my textbooks.

Hmm... I guess thats all for now. I promise I'll be back...sometime.

Monday, December 31, 2007

Happy New Year

I get pretty excited every new year because it means new oppurtunites and new experience. I've had pretty great experiences this year and can only hope that next year's will be far better. Be safe and sexy, I'll talk to yall later.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Ugly Christmas Sweater

This weekend I'm going to an ugly Christmas sweater party and I want to win the $50 prize (cuz i'm broke as a joke, and it's not really funny). Now for some strange reason all the ugly Christmas sweaters have up and disappeared out of my house. This is strange because my mom's closet doubles as a crypt for ugly Christmas sweaters. I'm considering buying one but that would defeat the purpose of winning the money. So I'm counting on all my blogger friends and the blogger deities to help me out and suggest a couple of super cheap and super ugly Christmas sweaters. I want mine to look something like this:

This might be the prettiest thing I've ever created in Microsoft Paint.

My sweater will have to be far, far uglier. Thanks for the help in advance!

Monday, December 17, 2007

Screen Writers Guild of America

Please take one for the team and come back. I have nothing to watch on tv. And we all know how much I love tv.

Thanks from a fellow writer (well, lets be serious, part time blogger is a better title),

The Narcist

Thursday, December 13, 2007

I Beg of Thee Take Mercy

I know I've been gone for a super long time and I'm sure whatever lame excuse I could come up wiht for being gone wouldn't really suffice (especially since i'm so judge-y when you guys take hiatuses) so I'll spare you the lameness. My absences has not gone unpunished by the blogger gods. A series of strange yet unfortunate events have occured recently and I attribute it to my being away for so long.

At first, it seemed that things were going my way. I went into the beauty store and found this lovely long curly weave for...wait for it...$8.99. So I beginning thinking that the weave gods have blessed me with this beautiful, synthetic creation b/c I'm so very deserving of pretty and cheap weave. Well it seems that the weave gods met with the blogger gods and determined that I was not deserving at all of this fortune because that damn weave made me break out on my cheeks. It was itchy and everything. Now yes the weave packet was a little suspect looking, and yes I found it sitting in a cardboard box labled for sale with a black sharpie, and yes the hair was extremely flammable (seriously flammable I put a flat iron to it and I smelled like burnt plastic all morning) but still the gods did not have to do me like that!

I also thought that things were looking up when my old manager at the Limited called me and personally requested that I come back and help her out during the holiday season. I was like wow, extra cash, a banging discount, and fun fun fun! I was wrong wrong wrong! Despite working for 3 weeks I havent been paid yet (b/c I filled out my W4 over the phone and did it wrong), the discount for vicky's secret and express no longer exists b/c they aren't under the same parent company anymore, and customers are assholes so it removes any fun one might have working at the mall. The really awful thing is that I've apparently gained a ridiculous amount of weight since I was 18 because now, none of the fucking clothes fit correctly!

So part of the reason I've been away is because I was trying to study for a final. I really had to study hard because I didn't complete any homework during the semester. In spite of my disregard for homework assignments I managed to have a 73% in the class. Now since I'm firm believer in the "C's get degrees" mantra I decided to work hard to keep it. The blogger gods did not think this was a good enough excuse to neglect them so they punished me by having the batteries in my calculater die mere minutes into my exam. They were dead dead too, not fading out dead, not I'm going to switch the batteries around and hope it comes back on dead, but dead as a doorknob dead (by the way I never understood that cliche). I was in my accounting exam using the edge of the paper to do long division!!! I mean lets be real who the hell remebers how to do long division? How dare my $90.00 Texas Instrument fail me!!! I am now praying to the real God that I managed to pull a C on that exam or that everybody else in the class failed causing my professor to curve heavily.

The worse punishment that I may be recieving is that now I may not have any of my 4.75 readers to complain to (my preganant friend and her dog read this blog therefore accounting for the 1.75 readers). Please blogger gods I am repenting! I can not take anymore of the cruelty you are inflicting upon me. I throw myself at your mercy!!!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007


Since the beginning of my blogging career I've felt like the fat, pimply girl that never got asked to the school dance.
Drew Barrymore adequately portrays my emotions as the character Josie Grossie in one of my faves, "Never Been Kissed."

I know you guys are confused and probably thinking, "Why, Narcist, you're so wonderful, and witty, and lovely, what do you have to be insecure about?" Well the truth of the matter is yes I may come off as the picture of confidence, but inside I was worried that nobody truly loved me because I was never tagged for a meme. I lurked around other's memes laughing and sometimes commenting hoping that one day somebody would ask me to join in the festivities. But alas, it never happened and I was left eating brownies alone bitterly muttering, "I didn't want to do one anyway."

After gaining a bunch of weight waiting around, I decided to be a woman of the new millenium and asked one of the coolest, most popularest kid in the blogosphere to meme me! She said yes and even gave me a 14 bun salute (which I like to think of as my corsage)

So, I've got all gussied up (in my pink pj's) and I'm ready to PARTY!!

Finally without further ado, is my first meme!!!!

4 Dishes I Like to Cook:
1. red velvet cupcakes
2. funfetti cupcakes
3. yellow cupcakes
4. carrot cake cupcakes

4 Qualities I Love in People:
1. People who can cook foods other the cupcakes
2. People who don't interrupt my television time
3. People who buy me presents
4. People who know how to drive

4 Places I Have Been: (in the 07)
1. Nigeria
2. Miami
3. Canada
3. You're boyfriends bed=) (SIKE!!!)

4 Dirty Words I Like
1. Naughty
2. Trampy
3. Cunt Slut
4. Poop

Wow, that felt good. I was expecting the first time to hurt a little, hopefully I won't end up pregnant after this;)