If You Want To Be Sad

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What is left for them to take?

P.S. Aren't we all excited that I FINALLY learned how to link? Thanks for the help folks=) Okay back to the regularly scheduled sadness=(

Crazy Me

In a fit of rage I took some scissors to my head and started snipping at my hair. It was exhilarting but really, really stupid. As yall know (or may not know) I've been trying to go natural. I'm about five months into the transformation but the majority of my hair is still relaxed. I didn't like the two competeing textures so I just started cutting away at the permed hair. I cut like a madwoman with no form or direction so my hair ended up uneven. My sister got home and cursed me out for lack of forsight. She ended up cutting all of the relaxer in my hair so now I'm an official afrobella=) I was rocking the teenie weenie fro, but that didnt' last too long because it put my huge head on blast. My vanity made me call out from work on Monday so that I had time to get some emergency tracks put in. Don't worry though, I'm working on my issues. I've been listening to India Arie's "I Am Not My Hair" repeatedly and hopefully will be wearing my natural in the near future.

Lindsay Lohan Should Read My Blog

If she did read it she would notice that to the right there is a lovely ad by AdSense that would help her fight her many dui charges. Seeing as how she'll be needing a lawyer soon she could click the ad and fill my slim pockets. It's win/win for everybody!
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How Excited Are We To See Hairspray?

The only acceptable answer to this question is very excited!

Martinis For Everyone

I was going to continue with my rant about my horrible Tuesday but my mom asked me why I keep dwelling on the issue. She told me the more I discuss it the more it will continue to piss me off. She turned out to be right so I'm just going to leave it alone.

Besides how can I be mad when I have just learned a new amazing trick. Because of this special girl!




Hooray I know how to link places! Cyber martinis for everybody!

A Long Rant!

Have you ever woken up and everything just went wrong from the moment you stepped out of your bed? Well thats what happened to me today. The morning started off as any other normal morning. I was on the way to the gym and as usual I only took a water bottle and my keys. On my way to the gym, this pressed ass cop pulls me over for going 56 in a 45. He asks me for my liscense and registration. I hand him my registration but explain to him how I'm on the way to the gym and I don't have my license. After checking my name he comes back and asks me why I'm lieing and why don't I tell him the truth about what happened to my license. I'm thorougly confused at what he's talking about because I was telling him the truth. He tells me that my license is suspended and hands me two tickets totaling $400 and a mandatory court date. He then also tells me that I need to call somebody to come get me or my car will be towed. I'm like, "well I don't have my cell on me do you have one?" He tells me no and that the tow truck driver will have to take me home. The bitch ass tow truck driver arrives and rudely tells me to get outta the car. Then he loads my car up and begins to leave. I'm like, "Hold up! I thought you were taking me home. I'm like 2+ miles away from my house." His rude ass tells me that he's not a "damn drop off service". I tell the stupid cop that the stupid tow truck man refuses to take me home. I ask the tow truck man if I can use his cell phone to call somebody to pick me up. This asshole tells me no because he clearly wants to get my $172. The cop finally says, "okay I'll take you home but I have to handcuff you." WTF? I'm not getting into a cop car handcuffed when I didn't even do anything wrong! He tells me that driving on a suspended license is an arrestable offense and that he was doing me a favor. I didn't need any favors from that asshole so I let them take my car and I walked the 2 miles home. I wish I could say the mayhem ended there but it doesnt.

I go to the MVA to see why my license is suspended. The lady say that I have an outstanding ticket. I'm like what are you talking about? Nobody has ever told me of said ticket and I even renewed my license a short six months ago. I ask her what the tickets for and she says she doesn't know. Then I ask her how much the ticket is and she says she doesn't know. So now I'm pissed because I'm wondering how the fuck these imbeciles get hired at the MVA. She then snatches my license out of my hand and tells me she can't return it until I go to district court and get this mystery ticket taken care of.

I go to the district court with fear in my heart because the way the day is going I wouldn't be suprised if I was arrested for failure to appear or some other dumb charge. I'm actually suprised that I didn't get arrested for disorderly conduct for all of the bitch fits I threw that day...Anyway I go to district court and find out that this damn ticket is from 2005! It's a $60 ticket for improperly displaying my license plates. WTH does that mean?! I paid the ticket and got my reciept and went back the MVA. The stupid MVA lady sends me to counter 14 where I wait for 20 minutes. I finally get some service at counter 14 and this other dumb broad tells me that she doesn't know why they sent me here that I need a number. I throw my third bitch fit of the day and I'm approached by one of the security cops and told to keep my voice down. I go get a ticket and wait another 40 minutes to be called. I finally get to the counter to get my suspension lifted and she tells me that I need to take a new license photo. What the FUCK?! What happened to my license that you snatched from me a mere two hours ago??? She informs me that they shredded it...

The realization setteles in that these assholes shredded the best license photo I've ever taken.

I know I tend to be dramatic but I am not exaggerating. This was a photo that I prepped for. Everything about it was perfect; my half smirk, my shiny hair, the tilt of my head, EVERYTHING! Now they want me to take a new picture when I'm in my gym clothes and my hair looks shitty! I almost burst into tears because that photo was so damn good that I was once complimented at a drive through bank window, that photo also got my hair dresser a damn referral....

Okay I'm upset again. Sadly my suck ass day didn't end there. I'll have to finish later, probably tomorrow because I'm going to sleep and starting over.

Happy Monday Folks!

This post won't be too long because I only have 20 minutes before Big Love starts.

I just wanted to talk about my weekend. It was pretty good although I'm sure that my friend practiced extremely bad birthday girl decorum. On Friday I didn't go out but that didn't stop me from having loads of fun. I was home with my lil sissy and her BFF and we had some major girl talk. They sorta look up to me and were naive enough to ask me for some advice on boys. The poor girls didn't know that I am practically as clueless as they are, but I tried my best. We had a major calorie fest, which I had to make up for this morning at the gym, but it was totally worth it because nothing beats red velvet cupcakes and ginger ale. NOTHING...I challange you to find something that does.

Saturday I went out to the city for my friends birthday. The plan was to go to this Japenese/Mexican fusion spot called Zengos*and then head on down to Lucky Strikes for bowling and drinks. Dinner was great despite the high price tag and everyone was enjoying themselves so far. After dinner is where we ran into a little snag. The birthday girl decides that since she's the birthday girl she will valet park her 98 Honda Civic. That was a very stupid idea, because as soon as the valet pulled up her busted Civic it broke down in front of the ultra trendy restuarant. I became extremely mortified after her cousin pulled up her rickety Corolla and tried to jump the Civic. Needless to say we caused scene and drew a crowd. The only highlight of the ordeal was that I snagged the number of a very attractive onlooker;) The Civic was never revived and we ended up having to tow it away. So the birthday girl was out $160 towing fee as well as a $12 valet fee. Our troubles were forgotten after we made it to lucky strikes and drowned our sorrows in jolly rancher cocktails. The music was bumping and I had a great time even though I lost twice.

Sunday I woke up sans hangover and took myself to church. The dance ministry performed so well that it drove me and half the church to tears. I had a super big brunch compliments of middle sissy and got to watch the Roots marathon on TVOne. I didn't really do anything wild and crazy this weekend but it was the best I've had in awhile. I think sometimes I tend to underestimate how much fun I can have with old girlfriends or with my little sisters. Okay thats all the opening sequence has began!

*I feel like a complete loser because I'm the only person in blogger land who doesn't know how to link to places. I'd greatly appreciate some lessons in the comment section. Hopefully its not as hard as it seems.

For Your Viewing Pleasure

Thats all, why spoil this moment with my insignificant words?

No We Can Not Hang Out on July 11th, and Most Certainly Not on the 21rst!

I would apologize for the extremely long and hostile title but I feel that I shouldn't have to. My anger is not directed towards you blogger friends (that would be silly since I only have like 7 of yall) but it is directed towards the my silly real life friends who insist on planning social activities on the most important days of the summer. For those of you losers* who don't know the 11th is when the newest Harry Potter movie comes out, and ten blessed days later is when the new Harry Potter book comes out. My insensitive friends who usually NEVER want to do ANYTHING all of sudden want to do these fun things. On Wednesday everybody wants to skip work and drive up to the amusement rides for hours of roller coasters and funnel cake. This is something that I would ususally rush to do because I haven't been on a roller coaster in three years due to a very tragic medical condition=( Also I love taking silly pictures with people in character suits, but really who doesn't. Then, to add insult to injury, my cousin and my sisters all want to go to the beach on the 21rst. Don't they know the single most important gift to literature is arriving that day? I swear they are some selfish gals. In order to appease my need for the Potter and have fun with my friends I think that I will go to the amusement park on Wednesday and go to a late show. Seeing as how I have that very special gift the movie will most likely start as soon as I show up. Then on the 21rst I will tell my friends to leave me alone in the sun for 8 hours while they frolick in the water so that I can devote my undivided attention to Deathly Hallows. They are SO lucky that I am SO smart or they would be Narcist free those dates!

*By loser I obviously mean not as obsessed as me. It is clear that my readers are a cool bunch of folk. Please don't be offended.

I Have Found My One True Gift

I have never been a talented person. I don't sing well, I can barely dance, and my artistic abilities don't extend past drawing stick figures. But this Friday I discovered that I am truly a gifted person. After being sick the whole week, I decided to go out and see Knocked Up. Being the lazy person that I am I decided that I'm just going to walk up into the theather and catch the next show. My sister scoffed at my lack of planning and told me that I could potentially miss the movie or have to wait 40 minutes for a new show. I looked into her doubtful eyes and said, "Let's just go and see." That is when I discovered that I have the ability to walk into any movie theater and the movie that I want to see will be starting. It never fails. I can just get the idea that I want to see a particular movie, and without calling Fandango or reading the newspaper I just go to the theater and that movie starts withing five minutes of my arrival! Now I know there are many of you out there who are like my hating ass little sister and feel like this is not a real talent. But just imagine never having to wait in line for a new flick, or having to listen to those annoying automated messages that give movie times. Its truly a gift from God, and I'm proud of my ability!